


barefoot on a summer night

by novaks



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Beach Holidays, Canon Divergence, M/M, Post-Season/Series 10, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 01:57:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4041304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novaks/pseuds/novaks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean, Cas and Sam go to the beach. Cas gets sunburned and Dean has to slather him with aloe gel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	barefoot on a summer night

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this [post](http://guarneretoye.tumblr.com/post/94983524637/you-could-be-sad-about-your-otp-but-consider-one).  
> title from home by edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros because i'm a sucker for this song.  
> warning for discussions of character deaths and the bunker scene/reverse crypt scene.

The first thing Dean does once he gets the Mark removed from his arm is search for a good beach they could go on a vacation to.

Sam asks a few times what he’s been doing so much in the internet but Dean’s only reply is, “Something we should’ve done a long time ago, Sammy”. He stops asking after a couple of days and rolls his eyes when Dean doesn’t even look up from the screen when he is talking.

Cas stays for a while but doesn’t say anything. In fact, he and Dean don’t talk much – or at all – after what happened between them. Cas doesn’t mention it, Dean hasn’t come up with enough courage to apologize, and every time they tried having a normal conversation it sounded strained. So Dean gave up. They would move past it, like they always do.

Three days later Cas announces he is leaving. Dean stopped asking months ago – he wishes he could blame the Mark for it, but it was gone now and he still couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He cares, of course he does. He wants Cas to stay. But he’s tired and he knows Cas has better things to do than _hang out with him and Sam_. So he stopped asking.

“You do what you gotta do, man,” Dean says without looking up from his eggs during breakfast.

Sometimes he wonders about the day Cas will just stop dropping by, stop answering his phone, and how much time he’s got left.

 

* * *

 

They spend the next few weeks doing their best to fix the mess the Stynes made when they were in the bunker. They have to wash all their clothes, clean and put everything back in place. Sam mentions moving since the bunker doesn’t seem at protected as it once was, for some reason, but Dean shooks his head and says he killed all of them. There is no need to worry about the family anymore.

Sam looks wary at first but nods. He doesn’t want to move as much as Dean does. He might not think of the bunker as home like Dean does, but he likes having a fixed place to stay between hunts. They do put up another security system just to be sure.

His relationship with Sam isn’t at its best but they’re trying. Once the Mark disappeared from Dean’s arm out of nowhere – and the buzz at the back of his mind that he associated with it was gone – he felt like he could cry from relief. When he first saw Sam and Cas after that he just asked, _“_ So, is it the Apocalypse all over again?”

Apparently nothing happened. There was a bright light that knocked them down, and that was it. Dean was suspicious, of course, but since there wasn’t any big black smoke moving around he counted that as a win. Still, the three of them locked the Book of the Damned in the magic box and buried it somewhere in the middle of Kansas.

 

* * *

 

 

A little more than two weeks later Cas appears at the bunker front door and Dean realizes he’s been holding his breath the whole time.

Dean tries not to run to open the door – because really, who else could it be? When he sees Cas standing there, just like always, he can’t help but smiling and saying, “Hey, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean,” Cas answers, also smiling.

That night during dinner, Dean decides to break the news.

“Sam, remember when I told you about how I wanted to go to the beach?” He swallows a spoon of chili and looks up at Sam, who’s sitting in front of him.

“Yeah.” He frowns and continues, “Why? You planning on taking a vacation?” It sounds playful but Dean knows he’s being serious about this.

“Already did,” he answers, sounding a little smug.

“Are you sure?” Sam puts his spoon down.

“Never been surer.” Dean looks at Cas this time. “You wanna go on a vacation to the beach with us, Cas?”

Cas doesn’t say anything at first and Dean thinks he’s coming up with a way to say _no_. But Cas frowns and says, “Are you sure you want me to come? This seems like a good time for you and Sam to talk about things.”

“We’re talking. It’s a slow process but we’re getting there,” he looks at Sam who nods. “I just thought you’d want to take a break from all… This.” He doesn’t really know what _this_ is, he doesn’t know what Cas is mostly up to. Hell, he doesn’t even know if Cas can take a break from it.

Cas looks down at his hands and stays silent for a few moments. Dean finishes eating his chili, and when he’s about to get up Cas says, “Okay.”

He’s smiling now and Dean heart’s melting but he manages a, “Good. That’s good, man,” before getting up.

“So, when do you wanna go?” Sam asks from the table.

He shrugs, “I dunno, as soon as possible? Cas, you free or do you have to be somewhere any time soon?” He tries to keep his tone casual but fails. Nobody seems to notice.

“I’m free,” he says, “No one’s gonna notice if I’m gone for a few weeks.”

 _I would_ , Dean thinks.

“So tomorrow?” Sam asks, catching his attention.

He’s almost saying _yes_ when he remembers that Cas probably doesn’t have a swim trunk, or any clothes that he could wear on the beach. Thinking about it, the only swim trunks Dean owns most likely don’t fit him anymore – he used to wear them before Sam went to Stanford, when he was young and it felt like he had all the time in the world. He doesn’t even know if he still has them or if he lost them while moving around so much.

“I was thinking about going shopping tomorrow, since Cas probably doesn’t have any clothes, and the only swim trunks I own don’t even fit me anymore.”

“Yeah, mines are the same, I guess,” Sam nods and gets up, “So, we can go shopping tomorrow at 9, is it okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Dean turns and starts washing the dishes.

“Fine by me,” he hears Cas answering.

“I’m going to bed, then,” Sam yawns.

“Good night, Sam,” Cas says.

They’re silent after that and Dean curses himself because the dishes are almost done but he doesn’t wanna turn around and face Cas.

“So,” Dean starts, “excited to see the beach? Wait, have you ever been on a vacation?”

“Angels don’t really get vacations.” The corner of his mouth tilts up. “I used to watch the ocean, centuries ago. I like the sound of the waves against the shore, it’s very calming. But yes, Dean, I’m excited for our vacation.”

He pictures Castiel, who’s the size of the Chrysler  _Building_ , sitting on the sand in the middle of nowhere, staring at the sea. He wishes he could’ve seen it.

“It’s gonna be great, Cas,” he says. “I mean, we deserve it. We deserve peace at least once.”

“We do,” Cas mutters and the way he’s looking at Dean makes his heart ache.

After that, Dean gets up and tells him he’s going to bed too. Cas nods and says good night. He doesn’t move to get up and Dean doesn’t know how to tell him not to stay the whole night in the kitchen staring at nothing, because that’s too damn depressing. So he says, “Night, Cas,” and he’s out of the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

Shopping with Cas is, to say the least, stressing.

Since Cas is not used to it he wants to go to all the stores before he buys anything, in case he finds something interesting he likes more. Sam and Dean buy their clothes on the cheapest place they can find that doesn’t sell hideous things and that’s it. At first, Cas wants to buy the most expensive swim trunks, of course, and when Sam tells him they can’t spend all that money in one piece of clothing he starts comparing prices.

By the time they’re done, it’s past 2 p.m. and Dean could eat a horse. They stop at a diner on their way home. Cas asks for a burger because he’s feeling good and doesn’t want to sit there just watching. Dean wonders if ‘feeling good’ means feeling human but doesn’t say anything.

They eat the rest of the chili that night and make plans to be on road by 6 a.m. If everything goes smoothly, they’ll be on the ocean by tomorrow morning.

Dean goes to sleep feeling calm for the first time in months.

 

* * *

 

When Dean emerges from his room at 5:45 a.m. the next morning he’s not expecting to see Cas sitting on the library, alone, wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Dean huffs a laugh under his breath.

“I see some people are already ready,” he greets him. Cas looks up from the book he is reading.

“Yes, I, ah—got a little excited,” Cas says. “I wanted to see how I looked wearing it.”

Dean tries to hide his grin, but he knows he fails when Cas smiles.

“You look good,” Dean says and blushes a little.

“Thank you,” Cas says, his eyes looking a little more bright than usual.

Sam walks into the room after that, and grins when he sees Cas’ clothes. Dean notices he’s also wearing shorts.

“Are we eating on the way?” Sam asks.

“Hell yeah, Sam. I’m not cleaning anything. My vacation starts—,” he checks his imaginary watch, “—right now.”

They’re on the road ten minutes later.

 

* * *

 

At some point, Cas gets a polaroid out of his bag. He starts taking pictures of the landscape – grass, mostly – and he hums after checking each picture. Dean has no idea if the pictures are good or just a blur.

Cas also takes pictures of Dean and Sam in the front seat, the road, Dean driving, Sam snoring – Dean ends up laughing so much he wakes Sam up, who just rolls his eyes and goes back to sleep.

They drive past a sign saying _Welcome to Winchester_ and Cas makes them stop and stand beside it so he can take a picture. He takes two and puts one in his pocket. The other goes to the pile with the other photos. Dean doesn’t mention it.

They stop to have lunch and buy some food for the drive, but other than that they just keep going. Kansas. Oklahoma. Louisiana. They pass through a National Forest and Cas asks them to stop there too. He probably knows all these places but he still wants to stop and appreciate them. After everything Cas has been through, the whole world must seem different to him now.

They watch the sun set between the trees and Dean asks himself why it took them so long to do this trip.

They rent one room that night. Cas says he doesn’t need sleep, so there’s no point in renting another one.

Except that when Dean comes out of the bathroom after taking a shower, Cas is lying on his bed and somehow he managed to fall asleep. Dean tries not to worry about it and sleeps on the couch that night. 

 

* * *

 

They get to the beach the next morning. It’s sunny, but not so hot, the wind welcome against their skin. They stay in a motel 2 blocks from the beach – this time they rent two rooms, even with Cas’ protests.

It’s a Wednesday so not many people are on the shore. It’s mostly people exercising, old couples watching the sea and some kids playing on the sand. The three of them make their way closer to the water and Dean stretches a towel so they can sit down. They eat the sandwiches Dean made at home and drink the beer they bought on the way. It’s not exactly cold, but it’ll do.

They stay there the whole day. Dean and Sam go into the water but Cas refuses, says someone has to stay to look over their things. In the late afternoon Sam mentions going running along the shore and that he’ll head to the motel after he’s done so they don’t have to wait for him.

It’s relaxing and exactly what he was telling Sam about the other day.

Until he thinks about all the people that could be there with them, enjoying the sun with them, _alive,_ and suddenly he’s not feeling so good. He thinks about what Charlie’s hair would look like on the sun, and how Kevin would feel annoyed at all that sand. He even thinks about Bobby – the old man probably has never been to the beach either. He tries not to think about his parents.

“I don’t think Bobby’s ever been to the beach,” he says before he can stop himself.

Cas looks at him then. They’re sitting close, side by side. The sun is starting to set in front of them and the sky is turning orange.

“I don’t know if Charlie has ever gone on a vacation like this. Hell, I don’t even know if Kevin has ever been on a vacation, the way that kid used to study.”

“Dean—,” Cas starts saying.

“I wish they were here,” Dean cuts him. “I wish my parents were here, after all these years.”

“You’re allowed to miss your parents even after all this time,” Cas tells him.

Dean looks at him then. He looks at his face, his red cheeks, his hair all over the place because of the wind coming from the sea.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he says, looking into Cas’ eyes. He notices the one second Cas’ expression changes and he looks surprised, but it’s gone in a second.

He nods. “I’m glad I’m here. I’m glad you invited me.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Dean asks.

Cas is silent for a moment. “I thought you were mad at me. Because of—well…” He doesn’t finish the sentence but he doesn’t need to.

“I was.” Dean turns to look at the sunset. “Still am, I guess.”

“I’m sorry we did what we did, Dean, but we were getting desperate. I couldn’t stand by and watch you become something you were fighting so hard against.”

“I know,” Dean mutters. _I’m the one who’ll have to watch you murder the world._

Cas sighs. “You shouldn’t blame yourself, Dean.” Dean starts protesting but Cas continues, “You should grieve and miss the ones that are gone, but don’t beat yourself about it. They all loved you, they wouldn’t want you thinking like that.”

“How can you know that?” Dean’s voice gets louder. “I’m the reason most of them are dead, they _should_ be pissed at me.”

“Do you really think Charlie would ever think like that?” Cas turns his whole body at Dean. “Or Bobby? Your parents? Even Kevin?”

Dean shrugs and doesn’t say anything.

“Dean, look at me,” Cas says softly.

He doesn’t want to face Cas, he wishes he wasn’t having this conversation. But Cas puts his hand on his arm so Dean turns to him slowly.

“The people you love, the people who you love, they would never blame you for this,” he says firmly. He looked like he was staring right into Dean’s soul. “And they would never want to see you suffering.”

Dean’s eyes start burning. He wants to look away but Cas places his hand on the side of his face.

“They are all happy now, I guarantee you. Their souls are in heaven where they should be.” Cas gives him a reassuring smile. “I asked Hannah to look after them – Charlie, Kevin, Bobby, even your parents.”

It warms Dean’s heart a little to know they’re in Heaven, and looked after by someone Cas apparently trusts. If he thinks Hannah is good enough to look after them, then so does Dean.

“Okay,” he whispers. “Okay.”

He turns away and Cas’ hand falls to his lap. The sun is almost gone now and Dean can see a few stars in the sky.

“So, Hannah…,” Dean starts. “Is she nicer now?”

It takes a few seconds for Cas to remember what he’s talking about, the last time the two of them met, but he says, “The two of us, we had our disagreements. But she’s committed to humanity and she’s helped me a lot when I needed.” Cas pauses for a moment. “I… fucked up, as you say, some time ago. Metatron is on the wind because of me.”

“What?!” Dean says louder than necessary.

“He was the one who lead me to my grace. When we got there he picked up the Demon Tablet and ran. Hannah wasn’t very happy about it since she didn’t even want me anywhere near him,” Cas tells him.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” Dean says, still loudly.

“Sam didn’t want me to tell you. I think he thought it would upset you – like it’s clearly happening,” Cas says. “He thought it was best if you didn’t know.”

Dean’s pissed all over again. It’s a good reason but still, he should be the one to decide whether or not to be upset about things.

“It’s done, Dean. I have my grace, Metatron is not bothering anyone for now, and I’m trying to make things right with Hannah and Heaven. This is what I do when I’m not in the bunker.”

Dean shakes his head. Cas is right – it’s already done. But still.

“Don’t hide things from me again.” His voice is firm when he talks. “Don’t lie to me again, okay?”

“I promise I won’t,” Cas says. “But you have to promise me the same.”

Dean takes a few deep breaths before saying, “Okay.”

They keep looking at each other. The sun’s casting beautiful shadows across Cas’ face and Dean thinks he could stare at him forever. But—

“We should head back,” Dean says and starts getting up. While he’s putting everything back inside the bag they brought he notices Cas didn’t move.

“We can come back here tomorrow,” Dean tells him.

Cas smiles and gets up.

 

* * *

 

Sam’s already showered when they get back to the motel. Dean goes next – sand really is an annoying thing. He looks at his reflection on the mirror and notices he’s slightly more tanned from spending the whole day under the sun and his freckles and ten times more visible. He groans and turns the shower on.

When he comes out of the bathroom Cas is alone in the bedroom. He wonders if this is Sam’s way of saying that he and Cas need to talk. He’ll probably keep doing that for the next week, if Dean knows him well.

“Where’s Sam?” Dean asks.

“He said he was going to get food,” Cas says. Dean nods.

Cas is still shirtless and sitting on Sam’s bed, watching tv. Dean notices something is off about him, but can’t really pinpoint what. When he sees how Cas keeps squirming whenever he leans against the headboard, he realizes.

Cas is completely pink.

His shoulders are extremely red, like his face and his legs. Dean can’t help but laugh and Cas looks at him, annoyed.

“What?”

“Man, you got _really_ sunburned,” he gasps for air.

“Yes, I realized that,” he frowns and looks back at the tv.

“Does it hurt?” Dean asks, not laughing this time.

“It does,” Cas sighs. “It’s annoying, I can’t touch anything.” He gets up.

“Yeah, getting sunburned does that,” Dean says. “But are you okay? I mean, I imagine this wasn’t supposed to happen. Did you even use sunblock?”

“No,” his voice quiet enough Dean almost misses it. “My grace is… not what it used to be.”

As if they don’t know that already. Just yesterday Cas fell asleep on his bed.

“Do you know why?” Dean asks.

“Part of it was used on Metatron’s spell,” Cas says. “And I’m not spending as much time as I used to in Heaven, so I think it’s slowly… fading. Or something.”

Dean can see how much the subject makes Cas uncomfortable so he tries to change it. “Well, good for you, I know exactly what’ll help with the pain.”

“What?” Cas frowns.

Dean holds a finger up like he’s saying _wait a moment_ , goes to the bathroom and opens the cupboard. Like he thought, there’s a bottle of aloe gel in it. These motels close to the beach usually have these things, in case someone like Cas needs it. When he picks it up he notices the bottle is almost empty.

“Dammit,” he curses under his breath.

“Dean?” Cas asks from the bedroom.

Dean takes the bottle with him and goes back to the room. “So, I was thinking about you using this, but it’s almost empty so I guess I’m gonna have to call Sam to see if he buys some more on his way home.”

“Was it in the bathroom?” Dean nods. “Then there might be some more in my room.”

There’s a full bottle in Cas’ room, actually. Dean tells him to spread some on his arms and shoulders and to be careful not to put much on his face so he doesn’t get any in his eyes.

Cas nods and puts some on his hand. He starts with his shoulders and moves to his arms, his skin read and shiny. Dean realizes he’s staring and turns his face away.

“So I’m gonna go wait for Sam,” Dean says and starts waking towards the door.

“Dean,” Cas calls him halfway through.

Dean, taking a deep breath, turns to him. “Yeah?”

“I don’t think I can reach my back,” Cas says.

 _Of course_ he can’t reach his back. Of course Dean is gonna be the one to help him. Of course this is happening.

Dean goes to him and puts a hand on his shoulder – Cas hisses and squirms away. “Sit down.” He points towards the bed.

Cas goes without a word and puts one leg on the bed so he’s facing away from Dean. Dean puts an amount of the gel on his hand and starts spreading it on Cas’ back.

He can feel Cas’ muscles moving under his hand and the way he relax against it. Cas’ breath becomes louder and he groans when Dean presses a little too hard. Dean’s throat is dry and his shorts are a little too tight but he tries to be as silence and as far from Cas as possible.

He thinks about the last time he touched Cas, the way he hurt him and made him bleed. After some time he realized he is shaking.

“Dean,” Cas says.

“I’m so sorry, Cas,” Dean blurts out of nowhere.

They don’t move for a few seconds. Dean’s hand is on the middle of Cas’ shoulder blade, his skin hot under his palm.

“I never wanted to hurt you. I don’t know what happened,” Dean mutters. “I mean, so many things happened, I just lost it.”

Cas doesn’t say anything so Dean starts moving his hand again, towards his shoulder and his neck. “Of course it doesn’t excuse it, I don’t know if you’re ever going to forgive me.” _I know I won’t_. “But you gotta know, Cas, I’m really fucking sorry. I would never—I could never—”

Cas turns abruptly and Dean’s hand ends up against his chest.

And then Cas’ lips are on his.

He probably makes some strangled sound against Cas’ lips, but he doesn’t move away and his mouth is opening against Dean’s, it actually makes him dizzy. He slides his hand up to Cas’ hair and Cas places his hand on his neck and pulls him even closer. Dean’s other hand goes to his hips and Cas groans because apparently he got sunburned even there.

After that Dean moves his hand up and down Cas’ back, never putting too much pressure so he won’t hurt him. He’s like a furnace. Their lips don’t separate at all and after no time they’re already panting.

“I’m so sorry,” Dean says against his lips.

“It’s okay,” he kisses Dean. “I know. It’s fine.”

Dean moves to kiss his cheek, and then his eye lids and his forehead. Once he’s kissed all of Cas’ face he moves to his neck and starts sucking lightly. Cas groans close to his ear and Dean’s hard again. He thinks about how much he wants to kiss Cas’ whole body, all the places he’s hurt before, how much he wants him to know that Dean loves him.

Of course that’s when someone knocks on the door and he hears Sam’s voice. “Guys, you in there?”

Well, at least he’s knocked.

“Yeah,” Dean screams so Sam can hear him. “We’re coming.”

He turns to Cas then, who is red all over – because of the sun but also because of their kisses. “We should probably—,” he starts and Cas nods.

“Yeah, we should.”

They don’t move until their breath is back to normal, and then they look at each other. Dean can’t help smiling, and so can’t Cas. Dean places a chaste kiss on his lips and gets up.

“C’mon.” He holds his hand for Cas, who takes it and doesn’t let go until they’re inside the other room.

When Sam sees it he smiles and looks at Dean, who rolls his eyes and turns away.


End file.
